Monday, March 15, 2010


Several months ago, a group of us were invited to an Imperial Court function. As I sat in the audience trying to understand both the purpose and the protocol of what I was watching, I realized that I was seeing the horrifying potential future of the leather contest community. Not the leather community per se, but that small part of it that is engaged in the leather contest system. There were several things about that evening that have continued to percolate in my mind and I thought now was a good time to share some of those thoughts.

The Imperial Court system raises huge amounts of money for a variety of good causes. They have a rich history and I am sure that the people involved in it have a wonderful time. I have met a number of the notable folks in the Imperial Court and find them to be very nice people. But as I sat there that evening, I realized I had NO interest in their “world”. I was not interested in the glamour of exaggerated femininity crusted in rhinestones and pretending to be empress such and such. I have enough problems with the idea that some people use scene names to be very comfortable with Empress triple extra large of the royal house of Muleface and her entourage of minions. It was not my gig.

As I stood in the wings waiting to be presented to the folks who were “stepping down” I realized that there was a LOT of protocol to learn. Walk this way, present yourself, take the empress by the hand, accept a small token of their appreciation, and for gawd’s sake don’t look at how her wig is starting to slip or the ugly mole peeking through the five o’clock on her chin. The person telling me all this crap reminded me of some of the folks around the leather contest system who seem to have popped up lately and consider themselves experts.

These so called experts speak as though there were definite right and wrong ways to approach the leather contest experience. They are the ones who tell titleholders
that you CAN’T do something or MUST do something as though there is some kind of rulebook for this shit. These rules seem to run the gamut from when you should and should not wear your medal or title vest to aspects of a titleholder’s personal life such as whom they should or should not fuck. The idea that you might have a great time and have sex at MAL has become “you have to go if you expect to do well at IML.”

In recent years the number of “mock interviews” has increased with plague like proportions. Each titleholder is being given enough expert advice that we are in danger of creating manufactured clones of what each so-called expert thinks a titleholder should be. No longer are contestants just given suggestions about how they might best present themselves, they are now being given the “right” answers they should give to potential interview questions. The questions often take on the appearance of “Leather Jeopardy”….”who was IMsL 1999”?. What is the hanky code for plushies? Who invented leather? Who is your county council representative? Well who the fuck cares? These are not questions designed to get to know a contestant. These are questions designed to impress upon the potential contestant that they better know arcane bits of leather minutia or they just won’t do very well. If contests are selecting these people to be judges we better take a serious look at ourselves and potential titleholders would do well to tell them to piss off.

The leather contest system grew out of the leather community. It is essential to remember that. Over the last couple of years, the leather contest system has become an entity unto itself. We all know guys who are ONLY involved in contests and have only minimal connection to the leather community in the greater sense. That’s fine. For some titleholders their contest serves as an introduction to the community. While a contest plays around with the erotic energy at the core of leather life, it is only an illusion of the deeper more meaningful experiences that can be possible. It has become more and more common for new titleholders to be introduced to kinky sex during their title year than it is to select kinky guys to represent a title. When titleholders are being coached to avoid erotic expression because it would demean their title, this whole thing has become absurd. How do you represent a community that is defined by its sexual expression by castrating yourself and becoming a eunuch in a title vest?

In reality most aspects of the origin of the contest system are cloudy and unclear…and also unimportant. Currently, it is clear that contests provide an opportunity for brotherhood, service, and a lot of other desirable side effects. Those of us privileged to produce contests can share moments that made us laugh and moments that were deeply meaningful. None of those moments were the result of coaching.

I hate to think that we are going to turn this whole thing over to the “stylists” who think that what matters most is who makes your leather “outfit” and insist that this whole thing is all about image. Especially when that image is an idiosyncratic vision of what being a leather titleholder should be. If we do, we will have become the Imperial Court of Leather. We will have rules about how you should address the royal titleholders and what “costume” is appropriate for which state function. There will be more contests, more raffles, more fund raisers, and little by little there will be less and less erotic energy. Eventually, what once made the whole thing so much fun will be lost.

I understand the idea that anybody who stands on a stage wants to do his best. BUT lets try to focus on the idea that it should be HIS best and not what some so-called expert thinks is a universal best. Oh sure…all boots should be shined, leather should fit, and it is never a good idea to say something that pisses off the crowd. In a perfect world a lot more of us would look like Tom of Finland drawings but we don’t.

At the core of all this, if your dick is hard, that is a pretty good indicator that you are on the right track. The idea that there are rules to govern a community of outlaws seems pretty absurd. Good advise is always welcome. Mentoring is an essential part of our community. BUT let’s celebrate the wonderful individuality that each titleholder brings to this process and support him rather than try to change him into some ball-less beauty contest clone. We may not agree with each decision but let us at least respect the men who make them. Because they are acting like men…like LEATHERMEN.

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